Tue, Dec 26 12:41 PM |Life

Report: Florida Man Arrested For Punching Girlfriend In The Shower Over Chocolate Chip Cookies

Listening to the excuses abusive people offer up in “defense” of their actions is…unsettling,

Remember that horrid woman who beat her child because the young girl was citing Bible verses incorrectly?

Well, a Florida man has been charged with domestic violence for allegedly punching his girlfriend in the face… because she ate the last of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. 

The Smoking Gun says that a man named Richard Hessic was arrested Thursday evening after officers were called to his Port St. Lucie home, which he shared with the unidentified victim, a 34-year-old nurse. 

The fight over the cookies escalated to violence when Hessic tried to confront her about the missing dessert but she “did not want to argue over something so petty”, the police report explains.

Hessic was questioned and confessed that the two of them bickered “over cookies”, after police arrived on the scene. In the arrest report, a Port St. Lucie Police Department investigator noted that Hessic “was upset someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie,” and was enraged “at his girlfriend for not taking him seriously.”

How could she though?

Hessic believed she was “blowing him off”. He then followed her to the shower and ripped down the curtain.

The victim told authorities Hessic was angry that “the last of his favorite cookies were eaten,” but to her, the missing cookie was not a huge ordeal. She even joked to Hessic about “reviewing the surveillance cameras to see who ate the cookie.”

The victim also told investigators she “did not want to argue over something so petty” and told Hessic that she would buy more cookies for him.

However, Hessic was still so angry that he “punched her on the left side of her face”.

A judge has ordered him to have no contact with his girlfriend, also placing him on house arrest with GPS monitoring, court records show. Hessic has previously been arrested for battery, fleeing and eluding, child abuse, driving with a suspended or revoked license and violating probation.

No way. Please note the sarcasm.

He will be arraigned this week on the misdemeanor count.

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